in with the new... out with the old?

i  feel like my life is changing so much recently. i got crowned miss texas outstanding teen a couple weeks ago and suddenly everything is rushing past me (as if my days weren't already flying by too fast for my liking.) its been an amazing experience so far and i cant wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for me.. and although i know im growing as a young lady, i cant help but feel like im being left behind. i didnt have a summer at all. while everyone was living it up, ive been working my tail off. my best friend and i no longer speak.. not because we had a big fall out or anything, just because we drifted apart. i almost wish we had had a huge fight or something. at least that way i would have a cause and solution in my mind, this whole drifting apart thing is awful. she is just a different person now. i understand that as you get older people grow apart, but we always promised we would grow together.. that we were the exception. apparently we were wrong because this is exactly what everyone else told me would happen.. and thats what stings the most. i just miss her. we used  to be attached at the hip and now we are barely in the same room for more than 15 mins before something negative happens. i have no idea whats really going on in her life.. and when i try to talk to her about anything, all she feeds me is lies. its just really sad. the one person i thought would never let me down, pushed me to rock bottom. the one person i thought i could trust with anything, never even told me the truth. and the one person who i thought would love me forever, hates me for everything im worth. so i guess im receiving the new.. and regretfully trying to move on from my past. "God never puts us in situations that we can not handle." so hopefully i will get thru this and see why i hurt so much in the future.

new year = new me?

isn't that what people usually say? kinda goofy if you ask me. if you do that doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of everything you did last year? haha just saying. hmmm well my new years resolutions are: 1) everyday be love. sounds silly i know, but recently i've grown very fond of the saying "be love". it runs through my mind all day at random times, soooo i decided to make it official. im going to radiate love and compassion at all times. 2) getting back into shape. and i mean the best physical shape that is possible. and mental as well. 3) stop looking at things as chores and start seeing them as experiences.. its so hard to do things that you dont like to do well if you have a negative attidude. believe i know. 4) get organized.

i guess in a sense it is new year, new you.. but i like to think of it as new year, better you. i've gotta feeling about this year.. its gonna be a good one!

:)

happy new year everyone! make it count!